The Kirtland Diner on Chillicothe Road in Kirtland, Ohio

On Sunday, 15 November 2008we decided to try a new restaurant in Kirtland. My sister had heard about it from a co-worker and, since we are always looking for something a little different, we decided to give it a try. For any of you who know anything at all about Route 306 and Kirtland, you know about the Kirtland Hill. Well, if you look back at your almanac, that was the day of the first real snow storm in the area and when we left, people were inching down the hill as if it were an ice sheet, probably because it was. Where the heel were the plows I ask, because every time I saw the news on the day before ODOT spokespeople were talking about how they were already preparing. Not the morons in Lake County, I guess. But, that is for another writing. Let us get to the Kirtland Diner, shall we?

This is a little hole in the wall directly across from the Kirtland Schools complex in the shopping center that has come and gone and come again and gone again...you get the picture. We think it is maybe in the spot that used to house the hobby shop but were not really able to tell for sure. Anyway, we entered and were immediately told by a young and seemingly nice female that we could sit wherever we would like. There were only about ten or twelve different tables and one taken when we arrived, so we had our choice. Within seconds, though, while we were still deciding where we wanted to sit, another female, older and much more gruff acting, asked us what we were looking for, she had obviously not paid any attention to her co-worker who had spoken to us just moments prior. I found that a tad rude, but was willing to overlook it as the second female not hearing the first one. We took a four top near the door. The place has no windbreak at the front door so each time it opened we were chilled anew, but that was our fault. The owners, though, might want to think of putting up some kind of wood partition or a space heater to alleviate the frigid burst of air when the door opens.

We had already seen the menu, so I was immediately ready to order but not so my cohorts. Our server just so happened to be the older woman of whom I have just written. She immediately offered coffee all around to which two agreed and two declined. She brought the iced tea but not the coffee until the second trip. Since this was an all-day breakfast joint, I decided to order my perennial favorite, the chicken fried steak and eggs. I find it much more realistic and fair to compare and contrast and restaurant if I order the same thing. When I told her the order, I said "over medium" but she asked me how I wanted my eggs. This, to me, is a pure case of, "it's all about me." My reasoning is this: She got involved when we first arrived, didn't pay attention when I told her what I wanted, then did the same thing to two of the other people at the table. When you are a server, pay attention to the customers, do NOT just try to remember what you are supposed to say. It comes across as, on the best side, a bit dim witted, on the worst side, quite rude. They ordered an omelet, French Toast and the Breakfast Special respectively.

My chicken fried steak came out with the French Toast, first. She put the steak in front of another of our party, but I put it where it belonged and went to get another syrup for the French Toast when there was one right in front of her. Sadly, it took another about four or five minutes for the remaining two of our party to get their food. I tried a bite of my toast, which had no butter, or fake oil crap that is on most, but it was hard and cold, a thought mirrored by the omelet portion of our party. My Chicken Fried Steak came out as two rather smallish patties covered by brown gravy. I have NEVER seen brown gravy on that before, but though, "What the Hell?" It wasn't bad at all, just not expected. The patties themselves were nothing exciting. In fact, I figured out that they tasted like On-Cor Salisbury Steak with a light breading. Again, not bad, just strange. They had home fries hat were like thick potato chips and my eggs were under done. When she came back with the other food she looked at me as if to say "What do you think you are doing moving the food around?" First off, it really shouldn't have made any difference, secondly,do not ever look at a customer as if you might want to argue with him over some thing you may have done mistakenly. All in all, the food was OK according to the others, and the price was not bad, but the server and the toast??????

As is quite often the case, our server fell off at the end, not that she was that good to begin with. I heard another patron verbally request for her to come to his table and wait more than five minutes for her to do so. He told her his coffee was cold and it took her another five to get back to him with a warm-up. Mind you, this place is not bigger than an average living room, so I have no idea what her problem could have been. While that was happening, we were awaiting our check. She never asked how we wanted it split, which she should have, and as is often the case, we had no idea what cost what, so it was difficult to split the bill. I hen requested a copy of the bill and she looked at me again, like when she came back and the steak was moved, as if I had just fallen from the sky. When she finally returned she had re-gained her composure but the damage was done.

I would suggest that anyone wanting some typical greasy spoon type breakfast might want to try this place out, but, be warned!! Do not sit near the front door and try to make sure you do not get the server we had. Also, like with other places about whom I have written, do not expect your food to arrive together or quickly. This is not rocket science, but these places seem to assume it is.