Tizzano's on Euclid Avenue in Wickliffe
Honest to God, for the first time ever, I do not know where to begin. This was the worst clusterfuck of an outing I can ever imagine at a restaurant so close to home. I have known of this place since I was going to skate across the street at United Skates of America. How in the hell it has been able to stay in business, doing things the way they were done when we were there, is beyond any stretch of the imagination.
It was early in the afternoon on Christmas Eve and one of the party wanted Italian. As is often the case I wanted to try something different but in our little part of the world. We tried to go to Dino's but it was packed so decided to go to Tizzano's. We walked in to a very dingy vestibule and tried to read the specials board. It was in a dark, unlighted area and the writing was somewhat smeared (first clue). After a few seconds, a nice woman came out and asked us if we were from the "party of eight," to which we replied that we were not. She continued talking about the party while she seated us right next to the only other table in the place. Mind you the eight top for the party was already set up and ready to go (second clue). We sat down and ordered drinks which came out oddly. The coffee came out alone and then she went back to the kitchen for the iced teas (third clue). She then began searching for menus when she could only find two and those she did find had black marker on various old items. It looked incredibly shabby (fourth clue). By now we should have realized this was destined to be a horrible experience, but we were hungry and just wanted to get some food.
I want to make sure you understand that this is an ITALIAN restaurant before I begin this next piece. I have to stop here for a minute because, I swear to you, this was so fucking bad that I cannot even keep it all straight in my head.
OK, there were some thing listed on the menu of which we were unsure so we asked the server. She seem quite knowledgeable about the various cuts of pasta, though we were to question that later. We asked about the "home made" options on the cavatelli and spaghetti. She said they no longer carried the "home made" option because it was too costly to keep if not being used (fifth clue). Then in the next breath, to one of my companions, she said the cavatelli, or some other pasta I am not completely sure of the type, was "home made." Wouldn't you thin she would have immediately offered me that when I asked for "home made" if that was an option? Hummmmm????? I ordered a salad and spaghetti with meatballs, another ordered rigatoni and meatballs, the other ordered fettuccini Alfredo. The salads were Ok and soup came with the rigatoni. This soup could have been nothing more than a mish mosh of leftovers. The potatoes looked as if they had been home fries and the veggies were so mushy as to be the consistency of baby food, BUT, it really tasted all right. We were also given three pieces of what tasted like a sour dough bread with butter pats, cut not pre-packaged, in a ramekin on the side. The bread was gone, the salads and soup were gone and our server was gone. Meanwhile people kept coming in to order things like gift certificates or to go stuff, like catering type pans full of various items. So, I decided it was time to hit the restroom, bad idea. It was dingy and looked dirty before I even entered. There was no light, not that there should have bee in the middle of the day, but there was also no switch to be found. I had to let the door shut and search in the second area but the commode to find a light switch. Once I looked around with the light I was disgusted by the grime just about everywhere. Then the paper towel dispenser was empty and the towels on the back of the toilet had water marks on the top.
I got back to the table and the food was still not there. I would like to remind you again that this is an Italian restaurant and we ordered pasta of which they told us none was "home made." This means that even if they had to boil it to al dente it should have taken no longer than about 12 minutes for large rigatoni. It had already been more than 25 minutes. One of the party also ordered a meatball sandwich and lasagna to go but that is for a later portion of this fiasco. So... since we were still awaiting our entrees, we asked for more bread, it was delivered but without more butter, we had to ask. While the server was talking to another customer, leaning on the counter in the "bar" looking area, I attempted to get up and ask for more butter, then she walked toward the south side of the building behind the counter. We did not see nor hear from her for another about ten minutes. This is about thirty five to forty minutes since our order and we still have not gotten our entree. (All of us have been asked why we even stayed to which we answer that we had too much time invested and just wanted to eat, though that is unlike any of us.)
When the food finally came out one of our party, and shockingly enough it was not even me, said, "This better be damned good food for all the time it took to get here." Our server looked genuinely flummoxed. She said that they probably shouldn't have opened except for,here we go again, the party that was supposed to come in. For fuck sake, we had been there the better part of an hour and the party was still not there but that was how we were greeted. Did they not have a time for this supposed party?????
The food was in no way worth the wait. It wasn't horrible, though the Alfredo was incredibly salty and something that member of our crew would never get again from there, but it sure was nothing to write (home) about, which is why this has taken so long to complete. The spaghetti sauce tasted like nothing more than a tomato puree with some minced garlic. In fact the only way I tasted the garlic was when a chunk got stuck in my teeth. My other companion noticed the fact that the meatballs could not have been made in house. They were too consistent in size and had the flavor and texture of any one of the mass produced brands. For an Italian restaurant, come the fuck on!!!!
When told, upon our food actually arriving, that we wanted to ensure it didn't take the same amount of time for the to go order, our server came back telling us it had been taken off the menu because it had yet to be started. The meatballs had to probably be no more than microwaved and the lasagna should have already been done. WHAT THE FUCK???????????? The owner came out and apologized, not for the incredible amount of time it took, for the fact that we were angry. I ask you this, who the fuck wouldn't be angry? His pants were so black near the left front pocket it looked as if he were a mechanic rather than a restaurant owner. Try an apron. Now the topper. One of our group asked for a take home container. You guessed it, they had none, though they said they were doing take out orders. She was given a wooden salad bowl wrapped with foil. The server wanted to wrap it for her but she, rightfully, said she would rather do it herself.
I do not recall if I spoke of the freezing temperature as well, but It was incredibly cold. We were told that the back door was open due to deliveries or some such thing.
We left without so much as a tip more than a dollar for the server. As I said before, she was nice, but she was absolutely not a very good server. She should have apologized to us profusely about the time, but, instead, all she said was, "I just work here." That is never an excuse which is why it is used in so many comedy routines.
I sincerely hope this was a fluke, but if it was not, how in the HELL have you guys stayed afloat for this long???????
It was early in the afternoon on Christmas Eve and one of the party wanted Italian. As is often the case I wanted to try something different but in our little part of the world. We tried to go to Dino's but it was packed so decided to go to Tizzano's. We walked in to a very dingy vestibule and tried to read the specials board. It was in a dark, unlighted area and the writing was somewhat smeared (first clue). After a few seconds, a nice woman came out and asked us if we were from the "party of eight," to which we replied that we were not. She continued talking about the party while she seated us right next to the only other table in the place. Mind you the eight top for the party was already set up and ready to go (second clue). We sat down and ordered drinks which came out oddly. The coffee came out alone and then she went back to the kitchen for the iced teas (third clue). She then began searching for menus when she could only find two and those she did find had black marker on various old items. It looked incredibly shabby (fourth clue). By now we should have realized this was destined to be a horrible experience, but we were hungry and just wanted to get some food.
I want to make sure you understand that this is an ITALIAN restaurant before I begin this next piece. I have to stop here for a minute because, I swear to you, this was so fucking bad that I cannot even keep it all straight in my head.
OK, there were some thing listed on the menu of which we were unsure so we asked the server. She seem quite knowledgeable about the various cuts of pasta, though we were to question that later. We asked about the "home made" options on the cavatelli and spaghetti. She said they no longer carried the "home made" option because it was too costly to keep if not being used (fifth clue). Then in the next breath, to one of my companions, she said the cavatelli, or some other pasta I am not completely sure of the type, was "home made." Wouldn't you thin she would have immediately offered me that when I asked for "home made" if that was an option? Hummmmm????? I ordered a salad and spaghetti with meatballs, another ordered rigatoni and meatballs, the other ordered fettuccini Alfredo. The salads were Ok and soup came with the rigatoni. This soup could have been nothing more than a mish mosh of leftovers. The potatoes looked as if they had been home fries and the veggies were so mushy as to be the consistency of baby food, BUT, it really tasted all right. We were also given three pieces of what tasted like a sour dough bread with butter pats, cut not pre-packaged, in a ramekin on the side. The bread was gone, the salads and soup were gone and our server was gone. Meanwhile people kept coming in to order things like gift certificates or to go stuff, like catering type pans full of various items. So, I decided it was time to hit the restroom, bad idea. It was dingy and looked dirty before I even entered. There was no light, not that there should have bee in the middle of the day, but there was also no switch to be found. I had to let the door shut and search in the second area but the commode to find a light switch. Once I looked around with the light I was disgusted by the grime just about everywhere. Then the paper towel dispenser was empty and the towels on the back of the toilet had water marks on the top.
I got back to the table and the food was still not there. I would like to remind you again that this is an Italian restaurant and we ordered pasta of which they told us none was "home made." This means that even if they had to boil it to al dente it should have taken no longer than about 12 minutes for large rigatoni. It had already been more than 25 minutes. One of the party also ordered a meatball sandwich and lasagna to go but that is for a later portion of this fiasco. So... since we were still awaiting our entrees, we asked for more bread, it was delivered but without more butter, we had to ask. While the server was talking to another customer, leaning on the counter in the "bar" looking area, I attempted to get up and ask for more butter, then she walked toward the south side of the building behind the counter. We did not see nor hear from her for another about ten minutes. This is about thirty five to forty minutes since our order and we still have not gotten our entree. (All of us have been asked why we even stayed to which we answer that we had too much time invested and just wanted to eat, though that is unlike any of us.)
When the food finally came out one of our party, and shockingly enough it was not even me, said, "This better be damned good food for all the time it took to get here." Our server looked genuinely flummoxed. She said that they probably shouldn't have opened except for,here we go again, the party that was supposed to come in. For fuck sake, we had been there the better part of an hour and the party was still not there but that was how we were greeted. Did they not have a time for this supposed party?????
The food was in no way worth the wait. It wasn't horrible, though the Alfredo was incredibly salty and something that member of our crew would never get again from there, but it sure was nothing to write (home) about, which is why this has taken so long to complete. The spaghetti sauce tasted like nothing more than a tomato puree with some minced garlic. In fact the only way I tasted the garlic was when a chunk got stuck in my teeth. My other companion noticed the fact that the meatballs could not have been made in house. They were too consistent in size and had the flavor and texture of any one of the mass produced brands. For an Italian restaurant, come the fuck on!!!!
When told, upon our food actually arriving, that we wanted to ensure it didn't take the same amount of time for the to go order, our server came back telling us it had been taken off the menu because it had yet to be started. The meatballs had to probably be no more than microwaved and the lasagna should have already been done. WHAT THE FUCK???????????? The owner came out and apologized, not for the incredible amount of time it took, for the fact that we were angry. I ask you this, who the fuck wouldn't be angry? His pants were so black near the left front pocket it looked as if he were a mechanic rather than a restaurant owner. Try an apron. Now the topper. One of our group asked for a take home container. You guessed it, they had none, though they said they were doing take out orders. She was given a wooden salad bowl wrapped with foil. The server wanted to wrap it for her but she, rightfully, said she would rather do it herself.
I do not recall if I spoke of the freezing temperature as well, but It was incredibly cold. We were told that the back door was open due to deliveries or some such thing.
We left without so much as a tip more than a dollar for the server. As I said before, she was nice, but she was absolutely not a very good server. She should have apologized to us profusely about the time, but, instead, all she said was, "I just work here." That is never an excuse which is why it is used in so many comedy routines.
I sincerely hope this was a fluke, but if it was not, how in the HELL have you guys stayed afloat for this long???????
posted by johnathan e at 1:24 PM
3 Comments:
This is your server.I do believe that you had a horrible experience at this establishment but there are also some inaccuracies in your blog that I, as the bad server,would like to rectify.First and foremost,your timing was off.I know this because i looked at the time stamp on the credit card I rang upon your arrival.It was 2:13.When asked if you were ready to order,you needed more time .Your order was placed at 2:25.At 2:40,your party was complaining about the wait.At that time,on her request,I took off the to-go order on the bill,never stating that it had not been started.As far as the "odd"way that the beverages came out,I poured the coffee not knowing if she needed cream.Our tables are small and we don't place un-needed item down.The ice tea is served in tall glasses that had just been steamed.They were too hot to put ice tea in,while I waited for them to cool.sorry!Next,the "homemade"spaghetti(not even an option on the menu)that you claim I didn't mention the cavatelli,yes I did.Perhaps if all 3 of you weren't talking at the same time , you would have heard me say that the spaghetti was a raw product but we did still carry the cavs.I don't quite understand your 2nd clue of this horrible experience.I had the 8 top preset for them.So.And?Suppose you were the 8 top ,wouldn't you have wanted your table reserved with a setting?The soup followed the salads by 3 minutes and I let her know that prior,it did not come with the rigatoni.Not that it matters but,you ordered veal parmigiana,not spaghetti and meatballs(just keeping it real).Now for my main problem in your blog.I specifically told you before seating you that "we technically were not open today except for the party and for family style take outs".I also reminded you of that during your party's rantings.I work for tips,not to be shouted at laughed at or sworn at.I JUST WORK HERE!Since our timing was not in sync,I didn't feel the need to apologize for the wait,it just seemed long for all of us.If I were to critique you as patrons,I would fail you miserably.your party was quite rude .I do not run this restaurant,I JUST WORK HERE!
It.s not the servers fault that you waited and that you did not like your food.And that the bathroom was not clean.Waiters work hard for their money.And then have to put up with assholes like you and your CREW.And to top it off you leave a business card for a tip.Not the dollar you spoke of.Maybe you and your CREW should just stay home and eat chef Boiardi.I mean really ,what makes you a food critic ? And, by the way, where did you get your culinary degree ? And what kind of people go into a place and swear at a waiters ? I know....Hillbillys .Next time you might want to think about this . You just might have pissed off their brothers or husbands.You and your CREW are nothing but a bunch of classless fucks.And you giving people your opinion . Here's mine, get a fucken hair cut I mean really 2008 not 1968 .Next time you want to talk to my wife like that you come talk to me and my CREW .Let's see if you have ball's .Print this .My money's on you won't .Because people that talk to woman the way you and your CREW did, don,t have any balls.
I don't know what happened...maybe a change in ownership...but I used to rally like Tizzano's. The last time I was there...6 months ago or so...it was as bad as you report. Too bad....
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