Today I will post my FIRST Guest review.... The Nauti Mermaid Downtown Cleveland
I am posting this just as it was written, and I want to give kudos to the writer. Excellent story Katie, keep up the great work!!!!!!!!!
The Nauti Mermaid...Thar She Blows
I will start out this review of The Nauti Mermaid by saying, my husband and I don't get out much; so when we do we try and make it special. We dress up and save up for a nice dinner rather than just throw on the standard tshirt and jeans. Tonight however, we were graciously given a gift certificate and decided to try out The Nauti Mermaid. We dropped the kids off for the weekend with my Sister in Law, and set out for what we thought would be a 'fine dining' experience. I mean, the place is located in the 'posh' warehouse district of Cleveland. I squeezed into my spanx and put on my most uncomfortable pair of heels and off we went.
We arrived on West 6th at about 7:30, the time I had made our reservations for. The only parking available, besides metered street parking; was a lot directly across from the restaurant for a posted 'special event' $8. What special event? Our first date since September? We paid the man and found a spot, which being Cleveland at 7:30 on a Saturday night shouldn't have been easy, but we had our pick of the lot. Come on Cleveland, pick it up a bit! I digress. We walked across the street to our restaurant; pulled open the heavy doors to what should have been our first sign of disaster, a large deep sea diver greeting us on a bench. What we saw when we walked in was nothing close to what we expected. We walked in with 'deer in headlights' looks upon our faces and were greeted from a voice in the back, "Sit wherever you want!" I kept my mouth shut about our reservations, clearly they don't take them. There were approximately seven booths along one wall and one located in a window cove for 'people watching'. The voice from beyond that told us to sit anywhere finally came up and told us again to sit anywhere we would like. My husband suggested the window booth, but were told they like to save that for bigger parties. Mind you, it was us and one other full table in the joint. So, we walked to the last booth and sat. I had a direct view of the kitchen and the 'chef'. The left side of the restaurant had the bar and two what looked to be card tables with folding chairs. Nice, real classy. The walls were covered with whatever the owner could find in the "So You Want to Open a Key West Restaurant" catalog. The sound system was blaring the 60's station from XM/Sirrius Satellite radio.
Our waitress (dressed in a tshirt, jeans and a hoodie) finally came over to us and asked us for our drink orders. I went in with the intention of ordering a glass of wine with dinner, but upon sitting down decided against it and ordered what will be the worst coke I have ever had in my life. My husband asked if they had a certain beer, to which the waitress got a dumbfounded look on her face and responded with, "I don't think so, I've never heard of that". He ordered a Bass instead. When our drinks were brought we were asked if we wanted anything to start with. We hadn't really looked at the menu yet, so asked for a minute or two. Well, we got 10! When she finally came back from doing god knows what; we were only the second couple in the place, we ordered an appetizer(crab cakes) and our entrees(crab leg dinner and fish tacos).
Our Crab cakes came out on a plastic platter. We laughed at the size, they were no bigger than a quarter and there were only three! They came on the side of mixed greens with walnuts, grapes and a raspberry vinaigrette of sorts. The salad part was quite good. The crab cakes on the other hand were overly spicy and mushy. My dinner also came with a side salad, which was basically iceberg from a bag with generic croutons and a plastic cup of Italian dressing.
We sat for a bit before our entrees came out. I was facing the kitchen and at one point looked up to see the 'chef' staring at me, which was VERY creepy. I saw my husbands fish tacos come out first and go under an off heat lamp. Five minutes later my entree came out. I had to hold in my shock and laughter when my dinner was presented. I had ordered what was listed on the menu as "1 lb Alaskan King Crab Legs". What I was given was a plastic platter of ONE leg on a bed of shredded iceberg. I also had two side choices, I chose the roasted red skinned potatoes and deep fried corn on the cob. The roasted potatoes; usually my favorite, were not in fact roasted but fried chunks. The corn may have been fried, but just looked to be browned under a broiler. We knew no one would believe us when we told them that there was only ONE leg on my plate, so we took a picture before I began eating. I would've had better luck at Red Lobster. My husbands fish tacos were cold and bland and came in a foil lined plastic basket. The tacos came with a side of fries which amounted to nothing more than a handful. Overall the food was a big disappointment.
We were asked for our gift certificate before we even got a chance to review our bill. it was only after it was 'processed' that we got our bill with our remaining balance to pay of $8.80. We spent a total of $70 on dinner that night. $9.95 on our crab cakes, $29.95 for my crab leg and $9.95 for my husbands cold, bland fish tacos. We left laughing and with the intention of never returning.
The Nauti Mermaid...Thar She Blows
I will start out this review of The Nauti Mermaid by saying, my husband and I don't get out much; so when we do we try and make it special. We dress up and save up for a nice dinner rather than just throw on the standard tshirt and jeans. Tonight however, we were graciously given a gift certificate and decided to try out The Nauti Mermaid. We dropped the kids off for the weekend with my Sister in Law, and set out for what we thought would be a 'fine dining' experience. I mean, the place is located in the 'posh' warehouse district of Cleveland. I squeezed into my spanx and put on my most uncomfortable pair of heels and off we went.
We arrived on West 6th at about 7:30, the time I had made our reservations for. The only parking available, besides metered street parking; was a lot directly across from the restaurant for a posted 'special event' $8. What special event? Our first date since September? We paid the man and found a spot, which being Cleveland at 7:30 on a Saturday night shouldn't have been easy, but we had our pick of the lot. Come on Cleveland, pick it up a bit! I digress. We walked across the street to our restaurant; pulled open the heavy doors to what should have been our first sign of disaster, a large deep sea diver greeting us on a bench. What we saw when we walked in was nothing close to what we expected. We walked in with 'deer in headlights' looks upon our faces and were greeted from a voice in the back, "Sit wherever you want!" I kept my mouth shut about our reservations, clearly they don't take them. There were approximately seven booths along one wall and one located in a window cove for 'people watching'. The voice from beyond that told us to sit anywhere finally came up and told us again to sit anywhere we would like. My husband suggested the window booth, but were told they like to save that for bigger parties. Mind you, it was us and one other full table in the joint. So, we walked to the last booth and sat. I had a direct view of the kitchen and the 'chef'. The left side of the restaurant had the bar and two what looked to be card tables with folding chairs. Nice, real classy. The walls were covered with whatever the owner could find in the "So You Want to Open a Key West Restaurant" catalog. The sound system was blaring the 60's station from XM/Sirrius Satellite radio.
Our waitress (dressed in a tshirt, jeans and a hoodie) finally came over to us and asked us for our drink orders. I went in with the intention of ordering a glass of wine with dinner, but upon sitting down decided against it and ordered what will be the worst coke I have ever had in my life. My husband asked if they had a certain beer, to which the waitress got a dumbfounded look on her face and responded with, "I don't think so, I've never heard of that". He ordered a Bass instead. When our drinks were brought we were asked if we wanted anything to start with. We hadn't really looked at the menu yet, so asked for a minute or two. Well, we got 10! When she finally came back from doing god knows what; we were only the second couple in the place, we ordered an appetizer(crab cakes) and our entrees(crab leg dinner and fish tacos).
Our Crab cakes came out on a plastic platter. We laughed at the size, they were no bigger than a quarter and there were only three! They came on the side of mixed greens with walnuts, grapes and a raspberry vinaigrette of sorts. The salad part was quite good. The crab cakes on the other hand were overly spicy and mushy. My dinner also came with a side salad, which was basically iceberg from a bag with generic croutons and a plastic cup of Italian dressing.
We sat for a bit before our entrees came out. I was facing the kitchen and at one point looked up to see the 'chef' staring at me, which was VERY creepy. I saw my husbands fish tacos come out first and go under an off heat lamp. Five minutes later my entree came out. I had to hold in my shock and laughter when my dinner was presented. I had ordered what was listed on the menu as "1 lb Alaskan King Crab Legs". What I was given was a plastic platter of ONE leg on a bed of shredded iceberg. I also had two side choices, I chose the roasted red skinned potatoes and deep fried corn on the cob. The roasted potatoes; usually my favorite, were not in fact roasted but fried chunks. The corn may have been fried, but just looked to be browned under a broiler. We knew no one would believe us when we told them that there was only ONE leg on my plate, so we took a picture before I began eating. I would've had better luck at Red Lobster. My husbands fish tacos were cold and bland and came in a foil lined plastic basket. The tacos came with a side of fries which amounted to nothing more than a handful. Overall the food was a big disappointment.
We were asked for our gift certificate before we even got a chance to review our bill. it was only after it was 'processed' that we got our bill with our remaining balance to pay of $8.80. We spent a total of $70 on dinner that night. $9.95 on our crab cakes, $29.95 for my crab leg and $9.95 for my husbands cold, bland fish tacos. We left laughing and with the intention of never returning.
posted by johnathan e at 4:09 PM
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