Key West Cafe in Westlake, Ohio off Columbia Road.
When I tell you that my companion and I SOOOOooo... wanted to like this place, I am not in any fucking way joking with you. BUT these idiots did everything in their power to ensure we would never come back. Even you, my wonderful readers whom expect my regular diatribe, will be shocked at some of the things I am going to tell you. Sit back and come along for a ride you will find quite distasteful.
We walked in about 1:30 on a Monday afternoon to a very sparsely populated restaurant, except for one other couple and a group of approximately eight ladies. We actually wanted to go to Carraba's next door, but they were not yet open. (This, in no way had any influence on this review. It was totally their fault from beginning to end.) My companion and I were greeted by Tina, who had no name tag and did not offer her name but was friendly, and taken to a table on the left of where we came in. We were seated and told that our sever would be Gina. About five minutes later, Tina came back and said Gina was busy and offered to take our beverage orders. I asked for Iced Tea to which she offered sweet or unsweetened. She stated that the flavors, such as the mango that I ordered, were sweetened. The tea came out (here the most shocking and ridiculous thing I have ever seen happened, but I will not tell you until the end since there were so many other idiotic things happening.) and, though I could taste some mango, was the most bitter and horrible tea I had ever had the displeasure of drinking. I made my head hurt on the lines of getting aluminum foil on one of your fillings. I am sure you get what I am saying.
When Gina finally arrived, we were ready to order from the menu we were given. As it turned out, and already we were not shocked, the portion of the menu from which we wanted to order was only for the weekend brunch. We were told, "We only gave you that menu for the items on the other side." If that is the case, don't be so fucking lazy and take the brunch section out. There was NOTHING stating particular days of the brunch. Of course, that was what we wanted. Gina was very apologetic, but, it was yet another annoyance. We finally decided upon ordering some grouper nuggets, which were very good, though the Cajun mayo tasted more like a very slightly spiced ranch dressing which I hate. I also ordered an asiago dip that was offered for something else on the menu. It was good but not quite as strong as it should have been. Asiago is a very potent cheese, so the dip should be potent as well. You should probably use a bit more asiago next time.
For our entrees I ordered the Angus Sliders and a side of fries, but noticed that the grouper came with fries, so I don't know why that wasn't stated to me (I told her to take the fries off the order), while my companion ordered the sirloin. My sliders, though I asked for them to be medium well and it is iffy as to whether or not they may be dry, were great. The flavor was wonderful and they were just juicy enough to be perfect. On the other hand, the sirloin, ordered medium, was most certainly NOT medium. AND, to add insult to injury, it was, to me, like chicken breast. I absolutely hate chicken breast. It fells like eating a mouthful of cotton. No matter what someone might do to it, it always feels the same. Do you get the idea it was dry? I thought you might.
At this point we were forced to call upon the manager. She, too was apologetic about the steak, Gina was good in that she almost looked as though she might cry, but within two seconds at the next table, she was her bubbly self. (Good skill, but too blatant for so close.) The manager agreed to take the steak from our order but did not really have anything to say about the tea, except, as Gina had already told us, that none of their teas are sweetened. She should have said, "I'm sorry about that and will speak with Tina," and left it at that. The way she re-stated that none of them were sweetened felt to me like she was making it my problem rather than taking the onus upon herself and her staff as she should have.
Now we come to the part I have been leading up to.... Before our drinks arrived, Tina, put out the obligatory square drink napkins. One of them blew off the table while she was in the back getting the drinks. When she returned, she bent down, picked up the napkin from the floor, put it one the table in front of me, then put my drink on top. Where in the fuck is this chick from? I don't know anyone on the planet that would consider something like that acceptable. The manager admitted she did not know what to say about that, but, in my mind, I would have fired her stupid ass on the spot. All I can truly say is WHAT THE FUCK????? Get a fucking clue you idiots. I mean, hell, one mistake can be overlooked, but FIVE???? Come on, now. I think it would behoove you guys to completely revamp your staff and come up with people who actually know how to run a service entity.
We walked in about 1:30 on a Monday afternoon to a very sparsely populated restaurant, except for one other couple and a group of approximately eight ladies. We actually wanted to go to Carraba's next door, but they were not yet open. (This, in no way had any influence on this review. It was totally their fault from beginning to end.) My companion and I were greeted by Tina, who had no name tag and did not offer her name but was friendly, and taken to a table on the left of where we came in. We were seated and told that our sever would be Gina. About five minutes later, Tina came back and said Gina was busy and offered to take our beverage orders. I asked for Iced Tea to which she offered sweet or unsweetened. She stated that the flavors, such as the mango that I ordered, were sweetened. The tea came out (here the most shocking and ridiculous thing I have ever seen happened, but I will not tell you until the end since there were so many other idiotic things happening.) and, though I could taste some mango, was the most bitter and horrible tea I had ever had the displeasure of drinking. I made my head hurt on the lines of getting aluminum foil on one of your fillings. I am sure you get what I am saying.
When Gina finally arrived, we were ready to order from the menu we were given. As it turned out, and already we were not shocked, the portion of the menu from which we wanted to order was only for the weekend brunch. We were told, "We only gave you that menu for the items on the other side." If that is the case, don't be so fucking lazy and take the brunch section out. There was NOTHING stating particular days of the brunch. Of course, that was what we wanted. Gina was very apologetic, but, it was yet another annoyance. We finally decided upon ordering some grouper nuggets, which were very good, though the Cajun mayo tasted more like a very slightly spiced ranch dressing which I hate. I also ordered an asiago dip that was offered for something else on the menu. It was good but not quite as strong as it should have been. Asiago is a very potent cheese, so the dip should be potent as well. You should probably use a bit more asiago next time.
For our entrees I ordered the Angus Sliders and a side of fries, but noticed that the grouper came with fries, so I don't know why that wasn't stated to me (I told her to take the fries off the order), while my companion ordered the sirloin. My sliders, though I asked for them to be medium well and it is iffy as to whether or not they may be dry, were great. The flavor was wonderful and they were just juicy enough to be perfect. On the other hand, the sirloin, ordered medium, was most certainly NOT medium. AND, to add insult to injury, it was, to me, like chicken breast. I absolutely hate chicken breast. It fells like eating a mouthful of cotton. No matter what someone might do to it, it always feels the same. Do you get the idea it was dry? I thought you might.
At this point we were forced to call upon the manager. She, too was apologetic about the steak, Gina was good in that she almost looked as though she might cry, but within two seconds at the next table, she was her bubbly self. (Good skill, but too blatant for so close.) The manager agreed to take the steak from our order but did not really have anything to say about the tea, except, as Gina had already told us, that none of their teas are sweetened. She should have said, "I'm sorry about that and will speak with Tina," and left it at that. The way she re-stated that none of them were sweetened felt to me like she was making it my problem rather than taking the onus upon herself and her staff as she should have.
Now we come to the part I have been leading up to.... Before our drinks arrived, Tina, put out the obligatory square drink napkins. One of them blew off the table while she was in the back getting the drinks. When she returned, she bent down, picked up the napkin from the floor, put it one the table in front of me, then put my drink on top. Where in the fuck is this chick from? I don't know anyone on the planet that would consider something like that acceptable. The manager admitted she did not know what to say about that, but, in my mind, I would have fired her stupid ass on the spot. All I can truly say is WHAT THE FUCK????? Get a fucking clue you idiots. I mean, hell, one mistake can be overlooked, but FIVE???? Come on, now. I think it would behoove you guys to completely revamp your staff and come up with people who actually know how to run a service entity.
posted by johnathan e at 3:46 PM
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