The Winking Lizard Tavern on Coventry in Cleveland Heights
The winking lizard must have something to do with the fact that this place charged us an arm and a leg while the owners must have been winking at one another saying, “Yeah, brother. Another idiot coming in to eat our shitty, overpriced food and continue making us millionaires.” Or, maybe, it should have been called the STINKING Lizard.
On Sunday, November 19, 2006, seven of us decided to go to the above establishment for lunch. It had already been a morning of no fun so we decided to see what we could salvage of the day. Food wise, it was not to be much. First thing wrong was that we all smelled popcorn upon entering the building but were never offered same. (We never asked either, for some reason, but it should have been offered.) We were seated at a large table in the northeastern most corner of the restaurant. It was comfortable enough for us all, not an easy task sometimes. We ordered our drinks, which were brought without problem. It was then that things started to go awry.
After adding sugar to my unsweetened iced tea, I noticed that there was no longer any ice. I don’t know about you, but I usually like ice in my iced tea, go figure. Anyway, it took us a while to order but it was done without anyone requesting anything not specifically on the menu. Most of us ordered burgers and fries while I and another of the party ordered the “Surf and Turf.” I know what a crap-shoot that is in a place known more for their variety of beers and the “Beers Around the World,” drinking game, but we decided to try. After waiting an inordinate amount of time, the first entrees began arriving. (Some of you who are sports savvy may say that a game was on during this time. You are correct, but, as I said earlier, the place was not packed. There were available tables in our area, so the game should have had no bearing on our service.)
Our server was not very personable. Unfortunately, we have been seeing this a great deal of late. He seemed to be more interested in something else going on within the tavern. Rather than him checking on us, we had to, at least five different times, motion him to our table for things such as: more tea, more soda, bad food, etc. I digress. After the first entrees arrived, the server told we two Surf and Turf folks ours would be out, “in a minute.” Obviously telling time was not this dude’s strong point. “In a minute,” turned out to be more like ten. In fact many of our party had already completed their food by the time ours had arrived. Now, I realize that things come up from time to time, BUT any good server would have let us know. Saying, “In a minute,” then not coming back for ten minutes is a major faux pas for anyone in the restaurant/bar/ tavern (tip based) field.
Still more unfortunately, (I really hate using the same term such as this more than once in a diatribe, but it so fits in this instance), the server finally put our food on the table and left. He did not once even come back, as most servers do when your mouth is full and you can only nod, to ask how our food was. Oops, yet another stupid mistake. Where in the hell did you get this guy? The Surf and Turf was to consist of an 8 ounce filet mignon and five sautéed shrimp. The shrimp, though not exactly sautéed (they had a thin breading-like crust on them) were actually quite good. The filets were HORRIBLE!!! I have never had a worse cut of beef in my life. It was to be medium and came out well, no pink what-so-ever (probably sat under the warming lights for a proverbial week which was what took the food so long to get to our table), dry as the desert and gritty. It also had no flavor to speak of. I had two bites, hoping I was wrong (I wasn’t) before giving up.
When I finally got the server’s attention, he apologized, though again it took too much time for us to get him to the table. In fact, the other Surf and Turf person had completely finished her steak even though she agreed it was awful. It took so long that she picked it to nothing. I told the server what was wrong and he offered to go to the manager. He came back with a very lame offer. As you already know, I was drinking iced tea, and everyone had already completed his or her meal. Well… the offer was: “…you can have either a free drink (iced tea had free refills, I think, already, but we were ready to leave anyway) or have them cook another steak (again everyone was done and we were ready to leave as he should have been able to discern). I told him that neither was acceptable. He didn’t even acknowledge the other person’s steak. He then stated that he would get the manager to come to the table.
About five minutes later he came back, obviously no manager thought it was important enough to come to try to appease us, to say that he could take the steak off my bill. Although that did not negate the experience as a whole, at least it was a gesture. The other steak should have been complimentary as well.
Here is the crux of this letter: Servers should do that, SERVE! If there is a table, ensure that you are treating EVERYONE well (you’ll get a better tip). I tip solely on service. If you are garbage you get no tip, and I mean NO tip. Manager: Get off your lazy ass and come to the table when there is a problem. We walked by your office and saw you sitting in front of a TV monitor when you should be wandering around your establishment. I realize there is a college crowd that makes it easy for you to ignore others, you have a good business, but word of mouth can always help. This time it will hurt. The server was Joseph and the time was 1439 at the Coventry Road store.
On Sunday, November 19, 2006, seven of us decided to go to the above establishment for lunch. It had already been a morning of no fun so we decided to see what we could salvage of the day. Food wise, it was not to be much. First thing wrong was that we all smelled popcorn upon entering the building but were never offered same. (We never asked either, for some reason, but it should have been offered.) We were seated at a large table in the northeastern most corner of the restaurant. It was comfortable enough for us all, not an easy task sometimes. We ordered our drinks, which were brought without problem. It was then that things started to go awry.
After adding sugar to my unsweetened iced tea, I noticed that there was no longer any ice. I don’t know about you, but I usually like ice in my iced tea, go figure. Anyway, it took us a while to order but it was done without anyone requesting anything not specifically on the menu. Most of us ordered burgers and fries while I and another of the party ordered the “Surf and Turf.” I know what a crap-shoot that is in a place known more for their variety of beers and the “Beers Around the World,” drinking game, but we decided to try. After waiting an inordinate amount of time, the first entrees began arriving. (Some of you who are sports savvy may say that a game was on during this time. You are correct, but, as I said earlier, the place was not packed. There were available tables in our area, so the game should have had no bearing on our service.)
Our server was not very personable. Unfortunately, we have been seeing this a great deal of late. He seemed to be more interested in something else going on within the tavern. Rather than him checking on us, we had to, at least five different times, motion him to our table for things such as: more tea, more soda, bad food, etc. I digress. After the first entrees arrived, the server told we two Surf and Turf folks ours would be out, “in a minute.” Obviously telling time was not this dude’s strong point. “In a minute,” turned out to be more like ten. In fact many of our party had already completed their food by the time ours had arrived. Now, I realize that things come up from time to time, BUT any good server would have let us know. Saying, “In a minute,” then not coming back for ten minutes is a major faux pas for anyone in the restaurant/bar/ tavern (tip based) field.
Still more unfortunately, (I really hate using the same term such as this more than once in a diatribe, but it so fits in this instance), the server finally put our food on the table and left. He did not once even come back, as most servers do when your mouth is full and you can only nod, to ask how our food was. Oops, yet another stupid mistake. Where in the hell did you get this guy? The Surf and Turf was to consist of an 8 ounce filet mignon and five sautéed shrimp. The shrimp, though not exactly sautéed (they had a thin breading-like crust on them) were actually quite good. The filets were HORRIBLE!!! I have never had a worse cut of beef in my life. It was to be medium and came out well, no pink what-so-ever (probably sat under the warming lights for a proverbial week which was what took the food so long to get to our table), dry as the desert and gritty. It also had no flavor to speak of. I had two bites, hoping I was wrong (I wasn’t) before giving up.
When I finally got the server’s attention, he apologized, though again it took too much time for us to get him to the table. In fact, the other Surf and Turf person had completely finished her steak even though she agreed it was awful. It took so long that she picked it to nothing. I told the server what was wrong and he offered to go to the manager. He came back with a very lame offer. As you already know, I was drinking iced tea, and everyone had already completed his or her meal. Well… the offer was: “…you can have either a free drink (iced tea had free refills, I think, already, but we were ready to leave anyway) or have them cook another steak (again everyone was done and we were ready to leave as he should have been able to discern). I told him that neither was acceptable. He didn’t even acknowledge the other person’s steak. He then stated that he would get the manager to come to the table.
About five minutes later he came back, obviously no manager thought it was important enough to come to try to appease us, to say that he could take the steak off my bill. Although that did not negate the experience as a whole, at least it was a gesture. The other steak should have been complimentary as well.
Here is the crux of this letter: Servers should do that, SERVE! If there is a table, ensure that you are treating EVERYONE well (you’ll get a better tip). I tip solely on service. If you are garbage you get no tip, and I mean NO tip. Manager: Get off your lazy ass and come to the table when there is a problem. We walked by your office and saw you sitting in front of a TV monitor when you should be wandering around your establishment. I realize there is a college crowd that makes it easy for you to ignore others, you have a good business, but word of mouth can always help. This time it will hurt. The server was Joseph and the time was 1439 at the Coventry Road store.
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